December gatherings can be warm and wonderful. They can also be loud, busy and emotionally loaded. If you find yourself going blank during conversations, feeling far away while people laugh around you, or losing track of time between courses, you are not alone. That fog is often dissociation... the mind’s way of keeping distance when things feel too much. Here is how to recognise it, why it shows up at Christmas, and what you can do to stay steadier.
What it can feel like at the table
- Sitting with family or friends yet feeling as if you are watching from the outside
- Sounds and colours going flat or distant
- Struggling to follow the thread of a story or joke
- Realising you have been staring at your plate or phone for minutes
- Snapping with irritation then feeling oddly blank
These are common under stress and do not mean you are doing Christmas “wrong”.
Why it happens more at Christmas
- Sensory overload from noise, lights, smells and crowded spaces
- Old dynamics resurfacing: critical comments, boundary-pushing, unresolved tensions
- Grief or change highlighted by empty chairs or new arrangements
- Money, food or alcohol stress that raises anxiety and lowers sleep
- Travel fatigue and disrupted routines
Your nervous system is doing its best to keep you safe. We can give it clearer cues.
Quick resets you can use at the table
Try one or two for sixty to ninety seconds. Small and discreet works.
- Name the present silently: “It is the 14th of December. I am at the table. My next step is to take a sip of water.”
- 4–2–4 breathing: Breathe in for four, hold for two, breathe out for four. Five gentle rounds behind your napkin or mug.
- Feet and hands: Press both feet into the floor. Curl and uncurl your toes. Hold your glass or cutlery firmly and notice the temperature and weight.
- Five senses micro-scan: Find one thing you can see, one you can feel, one you can hear. Keep it simple: “red bauble, cool glass, chair scraping.”
- Gaze anchors: Fix on a steady point in the room for a few breaths, then return to the person speaking.
Planning ahead so you feel safer
- Choose an anchor seat with a view of a door or window and space to step out if you need to
- Agree a buddy who knows your plan and can cue you back with a gentle “How are you doing”
- Set a time boundary before you arrive: “I will stay for two hours, then check in with myself”
- Plan an exit line you can use without explaining: “I need a quick fresh air break. Back in five.”
Boundaries that protect your energy
- “I am not discussing work today, thank you.”
- “Happy to help after I have finished eating.”
- “I can do twenty minutes of games, then I need to sit quietly.”
- “No alcohol for me tonight. I’m fine with water.”
Notes on alcohol, caffeine and phones
- Alcohol can feel grounding at first but often increases dissociation later. If you drink, alternate with water and eat with it.
- Caffeine can amplify jitters. Time your last tea or coffee so you can sleep.
- Phones help you step away, but long scrolling can deepen fog. Use a timer if you need a short reset.
Aftercare once you get home
- Decompress for ten minutes: warm shower, soft light, slow breath.
- Name three moments that went okay, even if small.
- Sleep routine: darker room, gentle stretches, a warm drink and no urgent decisions until morning.
If you are supporting someone who dissociates
- Speak calmly and simply: “You are at the table with me. It is evening.”
- Offer choices rather than pressure: “Window open or closed” “Would you like water or tea”
- Reduce noise if you can. Sit nearby until they feel steadier.
- Check in later with kindness, not analysis.
When to seek extra help
- Dissociation is frequent, lasts a long time, or affects safety, study, work or relationships
- You notice strong anxiety, panic, heavy drinking or substance use to get through events
- You have thoughts of self harm or suicide
Support now
UK
- Samaritans free, confidential, 24/7 on 116 123 or jo@samaritans.org
- Shout free 24/7 text support. Text SHOUT to 85258
- NHS 111 use 111 online or call 111 for urgent mental health help
- In an emergency call 999
USA
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline call or text 988 24/7
- Crisis Text Line text HOME to 741741 24/7
- In an emergency call 911
Stay connected with Ground Me
- On iPhone open the App Store and download Ground Me Dissociation Aid, check your dissociation level now and see whether it sits in a healthy range
- On Android coming soon
- Sign up to our newsletter on the groundme.app homepage to be the first to know
- Questions contact us via groundme.app
- One to one mental health support email bilge@groundme.app
- Become a test user and find our socials via our Linktree
- Follow @groundmeapp on Instagram for updates and grounding tips
You deserve a version of Christmas that feels kinder to your nervous system. With small anchors, clear boundaries and gentle aftercare, presence returns one steady breath and one warm moment at a time.
