November shines a light on men’s mental health. It is a good moment to name something many men experience but rarely discuss: dissociation. When stress or trauma builds, the mind can pull away from the present to cope. It can look like going on autopilot, blank spells, feeling numb or spaced out, or the world seeming far away. Naming it helps. Support helps even more.
Why men might dissociate and not notice
-
The “be strong” script. Many men are taught to push through. Numbness can seem useful until it gets in the way of sleep, work, or relationships.
-
Work and money stress. Deadlines, job insecurity and bills can push the nervous system into survival mode.
-
Family roles. New fatherhood, caring for relatives or relationship strain can heighten overwhelm.
-
Trauma and injuries. Accidents, assaults, medical events and sports injuries can leave the body guarded and the mind distant.
-
Alcohol or nicotine. Short term relief, long term more detachment.
What dissociation can feel like
-
Zoned out at your desk, rereading the same line with nothing going in
-
Driving or commuting and barely remembering the journey
-
Snapping with anger, then feeling oddly blank
-
Staring at a wall or phone while time disappears
-
Feeling “not myself,” like a passenger rather than the driver of my life
These are common under heavy stress. They do not mean you are weak or broken.
Quick ways to come back to now
Try one or two for a minute. Short and simple works best.
-
Name the present. Say the day, time, where you are and one next step: “It’s Tuesday, 4 pm, I’m at work, I’ll drink water and send one email.”
-
4–2–4 breathing. In for four, hold for two, out for four. Five gentle rounds.
-
Five senses. Five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste.
-
Temperature and touch. Cool water on your hands, a warm mug, or a stress ball in your pocket.
-
Feet and movement. Press your feet into the floor, stand, roll shoulders, look to the horizon, then to something close.
If words are hard, try these scripts
-
Text a mate: “Head’s not great today. Fancy a coffee or a walk this week”
-
Tell a partner: “I go blank when I’m stressed. If you see me drift, can you say my name and ask me to look around the room”
-
At work: “I’m a bit overloaded. I’ll return to this in ten minutes after a short break.”
Supporting a man who dissociates
-
Keep it calm and practical: “You are at home with me. It’s evening. Can we open a window and breathe together”
-
Offer choices: “Water or tea” “Sit by the window or outside for a minute”
-
Reduce noise and bright lights. Stay nearby until he feels steadier.
-
Follow up later with kindness, not lectures.
Support
UK
-
Samaritans: free, confidential, 24/7 on 116 123 or jo@samaritans.org
-
Shout: free 24/7 text support — text SHOUT to 85258
-
NHS 111: use 111 online or call 111 for urgent mental health help
-
In an emergency call 999
USA
-
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 (24/7)
-
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741 (24/7)
-
In an emergency call 911
Stay connected with Ground Me
-
On iPhone open the App Store and download Ground Me Dissociation Aid, check your dissociation level now and see whether it sits in a healthy range
-
On Android coming soon
-
Sign up to our newsletter on the groundme.app homepage to be the first to know
-
Questions; contact@groundme.app
-
One-to-one mental health support email bilge@groundme.app
-
Become a test user and find our socials via our Linktree
-
Follow @groundmeapp on Instagram for updates and grounding tips
Men’s mental health matters every month, not just in November. Small anchors, honest check ins and steady support make presence possible again.
