Postpartum Dissociation

New parenthood can be beautiful and bewildering at the same time. Between sleep loss, hormonal shifts, medical recovery, feeding challenges and the sheer responsibility of caring for a tiny human, it is common to feel “not quite here.” For some, that feeling crosses into dissociation, a sense of being detached from yourself, your emotions or the world around you.

This guide explains what postpartum dissociation can look like, why it happens, and how to stay safely present for yourself and your baby.

What postpartum dissociation can feel like

• Watching yourself do feeds and changes as if you are on autopilot
• The world seeming distant or dream-like, sounds a bit muffled or colours flat
• Time blurring, whole evenings gone with little memory of what happened
• Numbness or floating, then sudden rushes of emotion that feel too much
• Feeling like “I should be happier” but instead feeling blank or far away

These experiences are common under heavy stress. They do not mean you are a bad parent or that you do not love your baby.

Why it happens

Several postpartum factors push the nervous system into survival mode, where dissociation is a quick protective response:

• Sleep deprivation disrupts attention, memory and emotional regulation.
• Hormonal changes after birth affect mood and sensitivity to stress.
• Medical factors such as a difficult birth, emergency procedures or NICU stays can be traumatic.
• Perfectionism and pressure (from social media, family, or yourself) add constant vigilance.
• Past trauma may be stirred by pregnancy, birth or the early months of care.

Safety first: simple anchors with a baby

• Ground before lifting. Feel your feet on the floor, soften your jaw, take one slow breath before you pick baby up.
• Name the moment aloud. “It is Tuesday morning, we are in the living room, I am changing your nappy.” Hearing yourself speak can pull you back to now.
• Use touch and temperature. A cool flannel on your hands, a warm mug, or the texture of a muslin can help you re-orient while feeding.
• If you feel very detached: place baby safely in the cot or pram, set a one-minute timer, breathe 4-2-4 (in for four, hold for two, out for four), then return.

Grounding during feeds and naps

• Five senses scan Notice five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste.
• Soft gaze routine Pick three items in the room and describe them in simple words: “blue blanket, wooden chair, silver clock.”
• Mini movement Roll shoulders, unclench hands, wiggle toes. Small movements signal safety to the body.
• One kind sentence “We are learning each other. Good enough is enough today.”

For partners and supporters

• Speak calmly and simply: “You are at home with me. It’s afternoon. You are doing well.”
• Offer practical choices rather than questions: “Shall I hold baby while you drink some water”
• Keep lights soft and reduce noise if your partner looks spaced out.
• Ask in advance what helps, create a short “when I drift” plan together.

When to seek extra support

Reach out to your GP, health visitor or perinatal mental health team if:

• Dissociation is frequent or lasts a long time.
• You feel unsafe, confused or are having large memory gaps.
• You notice strong anxiety, low mood, panic, intrusive thoughts or birth trauma memories.
• Everyday care feels unmanageable. Getting help early is a strength, not a failure. Perinatal services understand these experiences and can support you.

Gentle daily rhythm

Tiny, repeatable habits protect a tired nervous system:

• Daylight each morning, a short pram walk if possible
• Regular snacks and water within reach of your feeding spot
• A simple “start” and “stop” for household tasks
• One connection a day, a text to a friend, a five-minute call, a wave to a neighbour

You are not alone

Postpartum dissociation is an understandable response to an intense season. With grounding, support and time, presence returns. If you would like more help:

• Email bilge@groundme.app to learn about our mental health support services
• Become a test user for our upcoming app via our Linktree
• Follow @groundmeapp on Instagram for gentle tips and community stories