When the Future Feels Closed: Understanding Suicidal Thoughts
Why suicidal thoughts happen, what can help and how to find support
Why suicidal thoughts happen, what can help and how to find support
Content note: This article discusses suicide and suicidal thoughts.
If you are thinking about ending your life, feel unable to keep yourself safe or believe you may act on suicidal thoughts, call 999 or go directly to A&E. You can also call NHS 111, contact Samaritans free on 116 123, or text SHOUT to 85258 for immediate support.
September is widely recognised as Suicide Prevention Month, with World Suicide Prevention Day taking place on 10 September. It is an opportunity to speak more openly about suicidal thoughts, challenge the stigma surrounding suicide and remind people that support is available.
Suicide is a global public health concern. According to the World Health Organization, more than 720,000 people die by suicide globally each year. Suicide is also the third leading cause of death among people aged 15 to 29.
In England and Wales, 6,190 suicides were registered in 2024, according to the Office for National Statistics. The suicide rate among males was more than three times the rate among females. These figures relate to the year in which deaths were registered, which may be different from the year in which they occurred because an inquest must be completed first.
Behind every statistic is a person, a family, a friendship and a life that mattered.
Statistics show the scale of the problem, but they cannot describe the private moments that may come before a suicidal crisis. These might include lying awake and wondering how much longer you can cope, feeling like a burden, believing nothing will change or wishing you could simply disappear.
If any of this feels familiar, you are not alone.
Suicidal thoughts can include thinking about death, wishing you were no longer alive or considering ending your own life.
These thoughts can exist on a spectrum. Someone may have passive suicidal thoughts, such as:
Another person may experience active suicidal thoughts involving an intention or plan to end their life.
Every experience deserves to be taken seriously. Passive thoughts can still cause significant distress and may become more intense over time.
For some people, suicidal thoughts are connected to a desperate need for emotional pain, fear, exhaustion or hopelessness to stop. This does not make the thoughts less serious. However, it can help us understand that the person may be searching for relief while being temporarily unable to see another way forward.
A suicidal thought is not an instruction. The way you feel in this moment does not determine how you will always feel.
There is rarely one reason why someone experiences suicidal thoughts. Suicide is complex and is usually influenced by several personal, psychological, social and environmental factors.
These may include:
Experiencing one or more of these factors does not mean someone will become suicidal. However, when several difficulties build up without enough support, the future can begin to feel closed.
During intense emotional pain, our thinking may become narrower. Possibilities that might be visible on an ordinary day can temporarily disappear from view.
You may start to believe:
These thoughts can feel completely convincing. However, they are being shaped by the pain you are currently carrying.
Hopelessness can make the future look decided when it is not.
When everything feels unbearable, thinking about the distant future may make the situation feel even more overwhelming.
You do not have to work out how to manage the next year, month or even week. The immediate goal may simply be to create enough safety to reach the next hour, the next conversation or the next morning.
Try asking yourself:
“What could help me stay for the next ten minutes?”
This question does not demand that you suddenly feel hopeful. It asks only what might help you move through the present moment without acting on your thoughts.
When people talk about “reasons to live”, it can sound as though you need an inspiring purpose or a perfect vision of your future.
You do not.
A reason to stay can be small, ordinary and deeply personal.
It might be:
Your reason does not need to remove your pain. It can simply help you remain safe while you find more support.
It should not become another responsibility or source of guilt. Your pet, your relationships and your future plans can be anchors, but you also deserve to stay because your own life has value, even when you cannot currently feel it.
Write down anything that helps you feel connected to life. Keep the list somewhere accessible, such as on your phone. If your pet is an important anchor, save a photograph of them. If it is a person, add their number to your emergency contacts.
Your reasons do not have to make sense to anyone else. They only need to matter to you.
You do not have to explain everything perfectly. You could say:
“I am having thoughts about ending my life, and I need some support.”
Or:
“I do not feel safe by myself right now. Can you stay with me or help me contact someone?”
If speaking feels too difficult, send a message or show someone what you have written.
If possible, go somewhere you are less likely to be alone. This could be a trusted person’s home, a shared room, an NHS service or another public and safe environment.
Ask someone to remain with you until the intensity of the thoughts begins to decrease or professional support becomes available.
Create distance between yourself and anything you could use to harm yourself. Ask someone you trust to remove or securely store potentially dangerous items.
Try to avoid alcohol and drugs during a suicidal crisis. They may increase impulsivity and make it more difficult to make safe decisions.
Place your feet on the floor and notice the physical support beneath you. Name where you are, what day it is and who you can contact.
Drink some water. Hold your pet or a familiar object. Take slow breaths without pressuring yourself to feel calm immediately.
These actions may not resolve the underlying pain, but they can create a little space between experiencing a thought and acting on it.
A safety plan is a personalised guide for moments when suicidal thoughts become more intense.
It can include:
Keep your safety plan somewhere easy to access. Share it with someone you trust so that they know how to support you during a crisis.
Some people experience dissociation alongside suicidal thoughts. Dissociation may involve feeling emotionally numb, disconnected from your body, detached from your identity or unable to remember parts of a distressing experience.
When you feel disconnected from yourself, it may become harder to recognise how much danger you are in or to access your usual reasons for staying safe.
Grounding techniques may help you reconnect with the present, but they should not replace urgent professional support. If you feel unreal, out of control or unable to trust yourself to remain safe, contact another person and seek immediate help.
You do not need to be a mental health professional to start a supportive conversation.
Ask clearly and calmly:
“Are you having thoughts about suicide?”
Asking about suicide does not put the idea into someone’s mind. A direct question can give them permission to speak honestly about what they are experiencing.
Listen without judgement and take their answer seriously. Avoid immediately telling them that everything will be fine, comparing their situation with someone else’s or reminding them how their death would affect other people.
Instead, you could say:
If they have an immediate intention to end their life, have access to something they could use to harm themselves or cannot confirm that they will remain safe, contact emergency support.
Involving emergency services when someone’s life may be at risk is not a betrayal.
You do not need to wait until you are certain you will act on suicidal thoughts before asking for help.
You can speak to your GP, therapist, mental health team, university support service, workplace wellbeing service or someone you trust as soon as the thoughts begin.
You are also allowed to ask again if a previous attempt to receive help was disappointing. One unhelpful experience does not mean that no person, service or treatment will be able to support you.
Suicidal thoughts can become quieter. Circumstances can change. Treatment can help. New relationships, opportunities and ways of understanding your pain can emerge.
Recovery is not always a straight line, but this painful moment does not have to decide what happens next.
For now, stay for the next ten minutes.
Stay for your pet, your person, your unfinished plans or the possibility that something may change.
For today, that is enough.
If you are outside the UK, contact your local emergency services or a crisis-support organisation in your country.
If dissociation is part of your experience, Ground Me can help you check your dissociation level, recognise patterns and access grounding exercises designed to support reconnection with the present.
Download Ground Me: Dissociation Aid on the Apple App Store. Android is coming soon.
Ground Me is a self-help app. It is not a diagnostic tool, emergency service or replacement for professional mental health care.
Bilge Kivrak, GMBPsS, MSc, is a psychologist, trauma-informed practitioner and co-founder of Ground Me. Her work focuses on dissociation, trauma, grounding and making mental health support more accessible.